Sunday, January 13, 2008

You can feel safe again: This post is 100 percent Japanese-baseball-clip free!

Hello again, cyberpeoples! Did you enjoy a week of the bizarre Japanese baseball video as the top post on the blog as much as I did? If your answer is "I enjoyed it about as much as a root canal without anesthetic," then yes, you enjoyed it exactly as much as I did. What can I say guys? A man with two jobs gets busy. (Oh, I'm sorry, have I used this excuse before? Like, 10,000 times before? I'm sorry. My brain shut down about two-thirds of the way into that Japanese baseball video, causing me to lose most of my memory. My sincerest apologies! Now will someone please help me remember where I live?)

There's plenty going on right now I can talk about, like ...

1. Hillary's back!

Chuck's take: I defer here to my friend Jim, who summed it up succintcly in a text message sent about 10:30 p.m. the night of the primary -- "I hate everyone in the state of New Hampshire right now."

2. The NFL Divisional Playoffs

Chuck's take: Always the best weekend of football. And every year I have something I'm obligated to get done this weekend. This weekend needs to have stronger promotion behind it, so people will realize its actually better to schedule key work and social engagements involving football fans the weekend of the Super Bowl. It's impossible to get anything else done on a weekend that four titanic football games take place at 4 p.m. and 8 p.m. on Saturday and 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. on Sunday. Unless you want to do something early on Saturday (and if you do, I doubt you have many friends), I'm booked. Super Sunday is quite the opposite. Unless you want to do something on Sunday night ... well, who does anything on Sunday night? (And again, if you do, you should realize most of the people you know quietly resent you, and when you're together with a group of friends and you get up to go to the bathroom, that awkward silence that follows when you return to the table is indeed because they were making jokes at your expense while you were gone.)

3. The News-Press editorial that defends the two-party system

Chuck's take: It's always comforting to know that ideas dismissed as mistakes, flaws and excuses for the nefarious will always have a place in mainstream media. And it's comforting to know where that place is, so I can avoid it.

All right, I'm cutting this short. It's time to go to work. I could go on a little bit longer and cut into my grooming, dressing or driving time, but my coworkers just aren't ready for pantsless Chuck yet. Pity.


Matt said...

Mutha fuck Dre, mutha fuck Snoop, mutha fuck Death Row, yo, and here comes my left blow, because I'm the E-A-Z-Y-E and this is the season to let the real muthufuckin G's in.

Cynthia said...

Pantsless Chuck is my favorite version.