Friday, June 15, 2007

Can you believe this shit?

So FEMA says it goofed up and gave victims of Hurricanes Katrina, Rita and Wilma $485 million more than they meant to. Considering FEMA appeared as though it was content to sit back and watch New Orleans sink into oblivion, I'd say anyone getting anything more than FEMA intended to give them is a good thing. Can you imagine the gall it takes to collect on this shit? Imagine if you were somebody who spent the day after the levees broke on top of your roof with a sign pleading for help, and you had to take a call like this ...

Destitute person: Hello?
FEMA caller: Yes ... hi, my name is David Thompkins, calling from the FEMA Collections Department ...
Destitute person: Yes! Hi! Boy, am I glad to finally hear from you! It took you a while!
FEMA caller: Yes, er ... ah ... anyway, you did receive a check for about $2,000 for repairs to your home about a month ago, yes?
Destitute person: That's right. A month ago. 20 months after the storm. Right.
FEMA caller: Well, um ... we sent you the wrong amount.
Destitute person: Oh, well you know, that's what I thought, since $2,000 only covers about half of the home repairs, and I waited almost two years, so ...
FEMA caller: Ah, actually ... we were only supposed to send you $500.
Destitute person: What?
FEMA caller: Yes, $500.
Destitute person: (Pause) That would be great if this were 1830.
FEMA caller: So we need the $1,500 back from you, as soon as possible.
Destitute person: Eat shit!
FEMA caller: That ... that might actually be a good cost-cutting move for you, sir.

No comments: