Crank that spin cycle all the way up!

You know, on all those career tests they gave me growing up, I always wound up with an off-the-charts score for marketing, advertising and PR. Not that, you know, I wanted to go into those fields.

But you'd be so good at it, Chuck!

Yeah, I know, but I really don't want to distort the truth for a living.

Those careers aren't distorting the truth! It's earning good money and being a good capitalist! And capitalism is good, Chuck. The Russians didn't have capitalism, and look at them.

I hear you, but you can earn a good living being a journalist who has an assiduous commitment to truth.

Maybe you could years ago, Chuck, but newspapers are dying and the honest, no-holds-barred journalism that has long been their hallmark is disappearing with them. It always was a shaky marriage of muckraking, public-interest first journalism and a for-profit newspaper company, and in a time of shriveling profit margins for the industry, that marriage hasn't just hit the rocks, it's rammed into a giant iceberg. So journalists are continually asked to do more for less pay, and are forced to sacrifice coverage of news that matters for news that sells.

I guess you're right about that. I mean, I sort of became the poster boy for a new wave of cost-effective journalism, but was so burnt out by the constant pressure of the job that the stress wound up affecting my health and I had no choice but to quit.

So you'll be joining us on the dark side then? A nice, comfy, lucrative corporate PR job for you? Hmm?

Well, I have nothing against earning money, but I still don't want to sell out my neighbor or my values to do so. Unlike some folks at Capital BlueCross. Special thanks to fellow Detroit sports fan Michael Moore for sharing this gem.